Four-time NRL premiership-winning coach Ivan Cleary has opened up on his mental health struggles ahead of the release of his memoir, revealing he had been “holding it all in”.
The 53-year-old Penrith Panthers coach, father to star Nathan Cleary, explained that he’d noticed signs when he was struggling with his mental health, particularly in 2019 when he returned to coach the Panthers.
“Definitely struggling to get out of bed … just becoming emotional for no real reason or you don’t think it’s a reason, but there’s obviously reasons there,” Cleary told Today on Tuesday morning.
“Like many men, I was just holding it all in, not discussing it.”
Cleary said he didn’t want to “burden” his wife, who had been “disappointed” he wasn’t opening up.
“I didn’t want to burden her or thought people are doing it harder than me,” he said.
“‘I need to just man up and get on with it’, so it’s been a long journey, but something that now I wanted to share because it’s not all beer and skittles, as I say.”
The four-time NRL premiership coach added “everyone’s pressure is different”, but he hoped to “normalise it”.
“I think the thing is a lot of men everywhere are feeling pressure,” he said.
“It might just be to make ends meet each week. I mean, everyone’s talking about the cost of living, and if you’re providing for a family … you’re always under pressure in many respects.
“Everyone’s pressure is different, but just because I’m a head coach and I seem to be under a lot of pressure, it’s no different to a lot of other guys.
“I just saw the opportunity to try and normalise it and to talk about it more.”
He encouraged men to seek out someone “trustworthy” in their lives to open up to, noting his wife is his “first port of call”.
Cleary told The Daily Telegraph on Sunday he was reluctant to share such personal details, but felt there was a real need to normalise conversations around mental health.
“I wasn’t keen (to discuss this) because it is obviously very private and personal, but it’s so relevant to so many people,” he said.
“We’re starting to talk about it more, and I think that’s important. I was struggling big time.’’
Cleary’s memoir, Not Everything Counts but Everything Matters, is set to be released on Wednesday.
The coach is set to share insights into his success and his challenges as a leader.
“How connection and courage teach us to win – an NRL leadership story from the history-making coach who pulled off the impossible to inspire, mentor and lead a grassroots club to the pinnacle of performance and become the undisputed champions of the league,” a description of the memoir on Harper Collins’ website states.
