San Francisco, CA – May 17, 2025
NBA legend Stephen Curry shocked fans, skeptics, and Silicon Valley investors this week after unveiling his newest off-court project: “MindRange,” a revolutionary meditation app that he claims can “synchronize the spirit, silence the noise, and give you Steph-level shooting precision.”
And here’s the wild part—it might actually work.
A Journey Beyond the Arc
According to Curry, the app was inspired by a 6-month secret sabbatical in a hidden monastery high in the Himalayas, where he trained with monks known for their ancient technique of “internal visualization through motionless ball handling.”
“They taught me how to shoot without ever lifting a basketball,” Curry said during a mystical press conference held in a foggy, incense-filled studio. “It wasn’t about muscle memory. It was about soul memory.”
Insiders say Curry spent days meditating blindfolded on icy cliffs, reciting sacred mantras like “catch and release” and “follow through is forever.”
Features of the App
MindRange offers several mind-bending features:
- “Third Eye Shot Chart” – Tracks your aura alignment with NBA shooting zones
- “Zen Flick” – Haptic guided breathing paired with finger flick simulations
- “Kobe Mode” – A daily motivational whisper from a Curry-voiced AI spirit guide
- “Heat Check Protocol” – Alerts you when your chakras are on fire and ready to shoot
Curry claims a user’s shooting percentage can increase by 100% in dreams and up to 73.5% in real life “if they truly surrender to the rhythm of the cosmos.”
Mixed Reception
Critics called the app “an elegant blend of mindfulness and marketing,” while others dismissed it as “Tony Robbins with a jump shot.” However, early adopters—including several NBA rookies—swear it’s changed their game.
Warriors coach Steve Kerr commented, “I walked into practice and saw five players meditating in a triangle while levitating slightly. I just let it happen. Then they hit 27 threes in a row.”
What’s Next?
Curry hinted at a future update called “Beyond the Buzzer,” which will focus on off-court mindfulness, helping users “visualize a perfect post-game press conference even after a blown lead.”
When asked if he truly believes the app can make anyone shoot like him, Curry smiled serenely and said, “The shot is already within you. You just need to exhale it.”